


With This

by victoriousscarf



Category: DCU
Genre: M/M, Outsiders Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-01
Updated: 2012-06-01
Packaged: 2017-11-06 13:26:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/419408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/victoriousscarf/pseuds/victoriousscarf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two sides of a broken relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Touch

Most of the time, Roy figures Dick doesn't even realize just how much he needs, wants, loves him.

It's a feeling that's been growing since he was a teen and Dick ran around in hot pants. (Roy misses those shorts, and the Elvis suit, and generally a lot of things about those times. But he wouldn't trade anything to get them back, because those were dark times for him, and then he wouldn't have Lian. Yet he misses those smiles Dick used to be so full of.)

First it was just friendship, and then it was friendship tinged with lust. It went back and forth between the two for quite some time: friendship, lust, friendship, lust, friendship, lust... But he always wanted to be around Dick. Even when he felt so low he didn't think he'd ever get back up.

It's only gotten worse since then.

It's a hundred times worse now that they're having sex.

He knows Dick is a sexual creature, and that's a large part of the problem. Because that means that it might not be about *him* but about the *touch.*

He's never really been one to go around and say "I love you!" or "Do you love me?" or "Please, love me." He figures Dick isn't really either. So at first, the lack of confessions of love didn't bother him. But the thing was, he did Love Dick (With a capital L it was so strong) and he wanted, so badly, badly enough it hurt most of the time, for Dick to love him back.

But it didn't look like Dick loved him.

It didn't feel like Dick loved him.

He was closer to him than he had ever been before, physically, but it had never felt like he was farther away.


	2. Words

Dick was a coward.

Of course, he was the type who would go running towards his fears rather than away, but when it came to emotions, or trying to put said emotions into words, he might as well been on the fast train out of town. He didn’t talk, he just ran. Any hope he had ever had of growing up able to express his deepest thoughts in words disappeared the day he became Bruce Wayne’s ward.

So he trusted his actions to speak for him.

That was partly why he had loved Barbara so much—she had the words he did not, so he thought they fit together to become something better. Especially after she had been shot, when action became harder for her, he thought they balanced. But he lost her that way, when he ran away to Bludhaven and never found the time to tell her how much she mattered. It was even harder for him to talk to people he loved, than the surface emotions he felt so much of the time. The stronger the emotion, the harder it was.

Kory though, she didn’t need words. She thought them wasteful, and would rather be running her hands down his sides, or flying through the air than speaking. Which is why they fell apart, because someone needed to be talking to be that involved, and they never resolved anything. But he was thankful for what they had.

He thought that Roy—strong, masculine, gorgeous Roy—would be the same, only understand him even better. They had always understood each other so well, after all. He thought Roy understood that when Dick leaned over to kiss him lightly, he was saying how much he missed Roy when he was gone, and when Dick stroked Roy’s side, he was telling Roy how much he loved him.

Until one day when Roy looked at him with broken and exhausted eyes.

But he still didn’t have the right words.

**Author's Note:**

> Something a bit more depressing then usual. From the Outsiders Era (of stupid).


End file.
